Deep blue ocean Morning dew fields Cloudless skies Cushioned sand beaches Mountains and hilltops Silent valleys Pouring waterfalls Jungles and forests Seaside parks Sweet flower gardens Eternal winding roads Quiet museums Dance studios Theatre’s stage Grand hotel lobbies High ceiling halls Rooftop cafes Riverside restaurants King sized beds
The list goes on Of vast and open spaces. Boundless and whole, Free and so comfortable. I enjoy such places and spaces, Where I’m reminded once again Of how tiny this life I hold, And how great a hand that holds. Of how my desires matters, And how He too desires. Of how nature speaks of beauty, And how beauty is reflecting His nature. Of how I have been set free, And how freely He gives. Love, Love, love open vast spaces
His hand finds its way to her back, large enough that it almost covers her left shoulder blade. I wonder if she notices how he does that every time the train arrives at or leaves a station, As if his palm is her resting place, just in case she falls backwards whenever the train jerks forwards. His eyes gently grazes the translucence of her skin, and his fingers intertwines with her hair. I wonder if she notices.
—
His mouth hangs wide open as his head rubs against the previous passengers’ hair stain on the window. His shirt crumpled from a day’s work, and yet neatly buttoned and tucked in. I wonder if he notices the frown on his forehead that is so prominent even in his sleep, As if he is perpetually worried about his work, or family, or Maybe beneath that worn-out work attire, he has a heart that is longing for his wife and children at home. I wonder if he notices that.
— Her hair falls almost perfectly upon her fair shoulders — brown, big curls, beautiful-kinda messy. The near perfection is the most fascinating sight. I wonder if she notices the beauty in her eyes, and the elegance in her poise, as she lifts her eyes to look at her text. Her slender fingers curls around her phone, and the subtle purse of her lips. She might not believe that she’s a beauty, but I wonder if she has yet to notice that she is.
— She rests her hand on his elbow, as his hand holds onto the steely cold pole. As if she trusted more in his strength, than the sturdiness of her sole. I wonder if he notices that she dressed up and made up for him, clad in an electric blue dress that brought out her best. I wonder if he notices.
Because I noticed all of these, and I’m glad I did. That amidst the busyness of life, the bustle and shoving on the train, I noticed beauty and love in you, strangers. And I hope you’ll notice that beauty in yourselves too.
I’ve finally found you in the quiet, Finally, found you in the noise. I hear you whispering through the chaos, And shouting through my own voice. I was beginning to sink into the depth of my own doubts, thoughts that You have forsaken me, Forgotten me, Forgiven me, but still disappointed in me.
So when I finally found out what you did, My heart could not contain the joy, Oh I’m such a kid. Because I did not find you, Oh no, how foolish of me to think that way, You found me.
All these while, In this state of human passions, I was only searching for myself. Selfishly, stupidly, Digging every earthly well to find no water to quench this thirst For belonging, Acceptance, Compliments, Purpose.
But all these while, In your state of Godly passions, You were only searching for me. Sacrificially, sweetly, Digging every well in my heart to pour out your love to quench my thirst For belonging, Acceptance, Compliments, Purpose.
You pursue me, over and over again. With the sweetest of love songs, And the warmest embrace, I ran, Far, And wide, And yet, you still came running, With a love song on your lips, And a hug in your arms, You, pursued me.
Life has gotten the better of me. My time. Space. Inspirations. They have all watered away with quiet desperations For a greater depth in my life, For a sea-side rest amidst the strife. My voice has melted to murmurs, And my sight has blurred to swirls. Why am I here? What am I living for? Have I not asked and found the answers to these present questions before? And yet, the past answers now stand empty, Unsatisfactory for these questions that now remain hefty. They say that life is a cycle And you will always relearn when you’ve been told. Maybe my answers will reincarnate like fresh manna, Feeding my spirit in my Father’s sacred manner. So perhaps I’ll relearn the depth of His grace, And the comfort of His loving embrace. Because I know the inner chambers of my heart is desperate with plea, That my God will get the better of me.
Between where I am and where I want to be. “Climb the corporate ladder, You’ll make it one day.” But they never warned you that your life is made of clay. Malleable and vulnerable, You’ll find their riches irresistible. So you bend, and you break, Till you get what it takes To fake all that you are, For this God-forbidden sake.
Merciless, this race for grace; Billions shoving for favour in Earth’s little space. Our eyes see its limit — The finite space for success stories, Where one’s victory means another man’s sorry. Sprinting against the culture’s tide, We run ahead where no one’s beside. Our pride carriers us through The creeping waves of lies. Pseudo promises, worldly words, Have we grown louder than the storms of this world? Have we grown softer than our quiet heart’s purr?
The nagging thought of escape, The lingering taste of hope. You sense it beneath your skin, You’ve seen it from where you’ve been. The cruel cusses of this world’s demands, Every fibre of you priming to reprimand This pursuit for wealth and gains, That comes in exchange for daily sores and pains. ‘Surrender again,’ You hear your heart convey To your hands, To end this strife for meaningless banes.
So your fingers un-writhe gently, Unveiling the softest story. The narrative that’s yours to tell, The metaphors that joins and melts With your desires and passions, People’s hunger and society’s fractions. Live it well, live it loud, Blend right in with crowd. In this infinite space for mercy and grace, May our eyes begin to say, “To shine in the darkness, To help others up the ladder, Because what is life, without another?”
We were all cramped in my friend’s living room, snuggled on the sofa, with cushions on our laps. It had became a bi-weekly routine to stay-over at each other’s homes. The lazy nights would stretch into hazy mornings, and we would often end up talking about the criteria of our ideal partners amongst other topics.
My friends knew me to be the one who would ask invasive and frequently awkward questions like: “what do you look for in a your ideal partner?”, “who would be the closest match to your ideal person?”, “who was the last person you liked?” Growing up, I was fascinated with the idea of love and romance, and I longed to know more.
We were all at the age where the idea of getting into a relationship was intriguing and exciting. It was unchartered territory, like new ground waiting to be broken. It was a topic that we never grew tired of talking about, in fact, every conversation grew in depth and heart.
Yet beyond the idea of romance, something ran deeper for me — The List.
Although I was always the one asking questions about my friends’ ideal persons, I had never really believed in coming up with a list of ideal characteristics. Because to me, that was ideal…unrealistic at best. I felt that the list was a mere construction, not something I should live by. I didn’t see the need for and importance of that list, until my uncle spoke to me one fateful December night.
He asked me: “so my dear girl, what do you look for in a guy?” I explained that I never saw a need in crafting long, idealistic lists of things. What’s the point anyway? It’s not like I’m going to find someone that perfect. He, in turn, explained the importance of it, and it actually made sense. I was wrong.
The point of a list isn’t meant for you to dream of prince charming (or princess, but for convenience sake, the male species will be addressed as the ideal person), but it is to draw you closer to God, to gain clarity of His desires for you.
Here are three steps to knowing who you should be looking out for:
1. Pray and wait on God for The List
2. Be accountable
3. Keep a look-out whilst staying focused on God
The beauty of praying and waiting on God for the list is that instead of the criteria bring centred around selfish and personal desires, they’ll be centred around the Father’s desires for you. The criteria can range from his calling to the specificity of his personality, from his looks to his habits. They are secrets which God will whisper to you over time, in His gracious attempt to help you look out for the type of person He intends for you.
Step 1 could take awhile, maybe longer than you expect. In fact, I’ve been seriously praying about it for about a year and a half now, and I’ve only got five things on my list. It is very crucial to keep in mind that the motive behind seeking God about this list is not to jot down what you want, but to write down what He wants for you. So wait on Him, He’ll reveal it to you.
The list does not merely contain the criteria of your future partner though, it should include what God wants in you for him as well. Pray and wait on God for what He is doing in you. It could be boundaries He wants you to keep, the moulding and shaping of your personality, or a change in your bad habits. As much as God is preparing a guy for you, He is also preparing you for him too.
Once you have got one or a few things written down, commit to God and sustain it in prayer. It is good to write it down, and if need be, share it with a close friend of the same gender. Having an accountability partner keeps you dedicated to your prayers and helps to build spiritual support. There is nothing quite like a friend who journeys with you.
When you have gained a clearer idea of what God has for you, it will keep you focused on looking out for a guy that God wants for you; instead of getting distracted by any handsome face or kind-hearted soul. Because ultimately, as much as love brings us joy and all that warm and fuzzy feelings, marriage is for and about God. So keep your eyes and heart on the one true Lover, and trust in His timing for you.
Wait. True love waits, and surely, the wait is worth it.
byamandagrace 